My sobriety is not up for debate. There were days when I had to make a choice on will I use this day or not? Desperately hoping to make the choice not to, my disputes were futile as the disease had encompassed my being and it had stolen the essence of who I wanted to be. The mind in all actuality is the heart, and my addiction truly a brain disorder. This means I had a disorder in the depths of my heart. As there was hardly any debate at that time in my life when it was time to use, there is now no debate when it comes to not using. The liberating difference of true recovery is that there is no struggle. When I was freed, I was truly set free indeed. There is never a second thought, a notion, a justification, a compromise, substance use has no grounds to stand on. I have a sure foundation made up of spiritual commitment, continual healing and a hope that produces a bigger harvest every year.
