There can be no true recovery without rigorous honesty, and to be rigorously honest is to completely deflate the ego. Ego is one of the biggest hinderances to honesty. The ego sets up a false system of protection during addiction that is hard to let go of, nevertheless, to me that is actually a form of distortion. My ego convinced me that I was a good person, and it was not my fault that I was addicted. To some extent, this was true and that was the problem. If I would have been more honest with myself, I would have been able to admit that I just wanted to be a good person but was not, and a lot of it was my fault. The initial innocence is where I was stuck, and that is where my ego demanded my mind should dwell, however my addiction had progressed far beyond that stage. There comes a time when one must choose to live in the actual part of the disease that they are functioning in, and not how or why it happened. The how and why part helped me to begin to heal, however accepting the responsibility of the wreckage I caused after that, is what keeps me honest and able to continue to heal.
Addicted to inspiration Day 328 (Available on Amazon.com)